[insert blog title here]

You know the people I am talking about, the people you just can’t stand being around. They may be the greatest people in the world but, just that one social annoyance that drives ya batty enough that you can not even hang out with them. I have decided on this night of sleep deprevation that I will make a long and detailed list of the things that annoy me in a list I call, Social Annoyances:

1. The person who listens to their music on full blast thing pisses me off, one of my friends insisted “if it’s music you like, surely you wouldn’t mind?”, but it’s really not that at all, it’s the obnoxiousness of it, we all know music is an individual thing and it’s not like deep down they believe people will think they’re “cool” for it, so why bother?

2. People who decide they have to stop in the middle of a aisle of a store or restaurant. People who decide that right in the middle of a busy, crowded area is a sensible place to congregate for a conversation, meaning that you can’t get past them, and then they invariably act as if you’re the one at fault for asking them to move.

3. People who just stop their cars in the middle of the road, just to talk to a passer by.

4. People who smoke on the bus or people who think they are cool for chewing tobacco or spitting snuff in the school, or on school bus.

5. White guys who try to speak late black rappers – there’s a lot of it in Richlands and it bugs me crazy. Sometimes I find myself speaking ‘black’, as you put it, but that is because of where I have grown up.

6. Old people who barge in front of you because they’re old. I will happily give up a seat for some old woman but wait your turn like everyone else. I have no problem with giving an old woman a seat on a bus or something like that. But half of them just seem to demand it. Also, old people who just.. always get in the way. Like the aforementioned people who just stop for a chat where they please, and don’t have the courteously to move for you and instead make you detour onto the main road.

7. I hate it when I’ve taken a photo of someone and they don’t like it, so we re-do it and they don’t like it and then re-do it again and they still don’t like it. Its normally one of two things, either the person is self-conscious and doesn’t like their own picture even if they look fine or they are just fat and ugly and no amount of posing will stop you looking like that.

8. Smokers who congregate around doors, or no smoking signs. Don’t care if it’s in public, just as long as it’s not a place where they shouldn’t be smoking, like in front of a fucking door which I have to enter.

9. People who are always on the phone. Especially if they’re meant to be talking to me or saying something to me and if they’ve got a bluetooth headset. My mother is fucking awful about it, she’s on that bluetooth headset more than half the day on her days off. What really gets irritating is when she’s having a conversation with me, answers her phone, starts having a generic conversation with the person on the other end and I’m left wondering who the fuck she’s talking to.

10. People who are incapable of looking where they’re going. I mean, fair enough, a lot of people these days go around with their iPods on so they might not hear you, but fucks sake, the amount of people who don’t seem to have any sort of spacial awareness at all these days is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter where you are, which way you’re going or how little space you occupy, some fucking idiot will find a way to get in front of you and then just. stop.

11. Constant swearing does my head in, I’ve taken to switching the microphone off on Xbox Live if some kid on Madden is yelling fuck every 2 seconds. And, having them threating to whoop your ass even though your virtually hundreds, maybe even thousands of miles away.

12. Also one that kills me when I am at work (K-Mart), people coming to the counter to be served while on their phone. They get pissy when I ask them how they are doing (trying to be as polite as I can), and they just start throwing shit toward me without saying a word? I’ve actually taken to like being as rude as I can when taking money.

13. People trying to get money knocked off stuff. I tell them I can’t, and I get all sorts of responses like “fine, I’ll take my business elsewhere!” …yeah sure, I’m sure it will be fucking impossible to find anyone anywhere willing to pay the full value of the goods without being a cunt. You don’t go to Wal-Mart, buy two apples and ask for a discount because you’re getting two, or FYE with two DVDs, don’t try and screw me around. Shit is expensive, get over it.

14. When you first start talking to someone new the first few lines you exchange often have this uninspired, rote quality to them. If you’re meeting a lot of people in a short period of time it can quickly grow tiresome. It’s pointless to get too irritated at this common scenario. If two people don’t know each other too well these various time-worn exchanges act as a safe, easy template that allows them to get the ball rolling. Within a minute or two they’ll hopefully hit on a jumping off point that allows them to take the conversation into more mutually interesting territory.

15. Having to attend events you would rather not. Dull office parties, irritating family gatherings, overly formal, stuffy dinners. Mandatory events come up like this at least a few times a year. No one really wants to go to all of them. It’s easy to fantasize about beating the system and not having go to these events any more, perhaps by just refusing to attend them in the future. That never seems to work out though, it’s always more trouble than it’s worth. You just have to put on your happy face and put in those few hours.

16.MySpace

The day Wal-Mart came to town, the townsfolk were downright joyful about it. A huge, brand new, job-providing, property tax paying mega-store planting itself on the edge of the community. And did I mention huge? And amazingly low prices, too! Get the kids! Let’s go shopping!

And they did. Suddenly that $25 widget at the downtown hardware store could be had for a mere $14.95. Incredible! Film developing at the local camera shop was way too expensive now. Prices at the market down the street? Forget about it!

Too high compared to the brand new superstore. And the convenience! Food, car batteries, electronics, books, beer, clothes, jewelry, and more, and more, and more… The local unemployed lined up for the new jobs, thrilled at their fresh prospects for a steady paycheck and the self-respect society confers on those with a job. So what if it pays only minimum wage, with minimum benefits . . . it’s a job!

The vast parking lot overflowed, the “deals” crowded like cornucopia in consumers’ carts, and all was well in their world.

Well, sure, there was that “Going Out of Business Sale” sign that appeared in one of the downtown store windows. But only one . . . well, maybe there were two or three after awhile. But no worries. It happens, you know, very sad to see them go, but after all, their prices were always a bit high, so it’s no wonder they went under. The independent bookstore, a fixture for 30 years-the store that people had deeply woven into their life stories-gone. The owners-your neighbors, your friends- moved away, disheartened and disillusioned. The hardware store, that ancient edifice, the old paradigm of personal, knowledgeable customer service-gone. Same with the sporting goods store. One by one, the downtown core, the heart and soul of the business community, dying away. And gradually, as stories of fear and financial failure from friends and acquaintances spread through the town, people finally began to wonder. How did this happen? Why are there no jobs anymore with decent wages? Why are the lines at the unemployment office growing even longer? Why have I lost touch with so many people I used to see downtown every week and share the local news with? Why do I have to drive all the way to the edge of town on a busy stop & go street just to buy something I need?

Too late. This town, this community of decent, hard-working people, was addicted, and they didn’t even know it. Having sold their souls to Wal-Mart’s company store for a cheap consumer high, their fate was sealed. They never realized they were degrading themselves, their friends, their families, and their community-just by going shopping.

The mega-store, the so-called Big Box store (Wal-Mart being the biggest of them all) comes to town with a Big Plan. The plan usually works because “consumers” (known locally as “people”) are so predictable. They want to buy things cheaper. What could possibly be wrong with guaranteed lower prices? Let’s shop!

The Shadow of Low, Low Prices
Almost every dollar spent super-shopping immediately leaves town for corporate headquarters out-of-state, never to re-circulate again in the local economy. Life blood lost.

Wal-Mart is so powerful, it usually gets its way through sheer economic force. It can under-price local businesses because it coerces suppliers to cut their costs in order to get the contract with them. As a result, manufacturing jobs fly to places like China, where girls and young women in sweatshops slave under horrific conditions for next to nothing, so Americans can buy cheap clothing & widgets 10,000 miles away. What a deal! The local hardware store, bookstore, sporting goods store, bakery, electronics store, music shop, toy store, food market-all closed through lack of local support because Americans chase those guaranteed lower prices. The local factory-you know, the one that used to manufacture widgets, that used to employ 100 local people at family wages with benefits; the one that was part of the town’s identity? Closed. More life blood lost. Money is the blood of a local economy, and this community is bleeding to death.

And guess what? Your job at the local supermarket is about to be sucked dry, too. You see, Wal-Mart doesn’t pay its employees what you get paid, nor does it give the benefits you receive. So, to remain competitive, your employer has just lowered your pay and cut your benefits! Don’t like it? Not gonna stand for it! Fine, they say. Go try to find anything better in this dying town.

The cycle affects everyone in the community. Everyone is sucked into the downward spiral. And that sound you hear? Yes, indeed, it’s a sucking sound. Wal-Mart is a parasite on the town body. Like a giant tick, it attaches itself to the side of a community, digs in and begins to suck the money out. It entices local folks with goodies at prices unheard of. Like innocents entering an opium den, people succumb to the illusion of prosperity, not realizing the enormous price to be paid soon after. Everything sinks to the lowest denominator (or is that dominator)-wages, prices, products, and services. Until most people have to shop there, because either they can’t afford to do otherwise, or there’s no other widget stores left.

Maybe that $14.95 widget wasn’t so cheap, after all.

Every purchase is political.
Every purchase affects the environment.
Every purchase is your conscience.
Every purchase is a vote.
Every purchase is a prayer.
Every purchase matters.
Buy local. Buy little. Buy organic.
Live in the world you want to create.
Create the world you want to live in.

These words were spoken by Richard Baynton. Richard Baynton is a co-founder of Alternatives Magazine. He lives in Eugene with his family and can be reached at info@alternativesmagazine.com. He is a masterful writer and I want to encourage you to check out some more of his work.

He is reinforcing every word I have spoke toward in my way of life as an Anarcho-capitalist, I support the local business and forget the big corporate juggernauts. But. I do agree there are those times when you have to go there, but I have not went there for about six months (almost since I worked up there). But, they are killing there employees and the local business by walking around and taking the money and time of all the people.

I live my life the way of the common man and so should you.

I hate the movie the Breakfast Club.

So much of this movie pisses me right the fuck off, because it was the reason a lot of social norms and social status are what they are anymore. I would love to watch that movie with ya, because I am the type of person who will sit there and point out everything wrong with a movie.

Anyway, a lot about the movie sucks. I mean, who here would show up to detention on a Saturday? I have never had detention, possibly due to my crafty way of sneaking out of shit, or not doing anything illegal and threating, but if it did, I sure as shit wouldn’t show up to it, especially on a weekend. If Judd Nelson was as much of a badass that he tried to be he would have told that uptight, bastard of a Principal to suck his dick. Molly Ringwald was miscast as the beautiful, rich girl. She got the rich girl part right, but who the hell had the bright idea that she was beautiful? I have a weak spot for redheads (its my Kryptonite), but seriously, Molly Ringwald is gross looking. Ally Sheedy is hotter than her by like a million billion times. I want to hit that now, so, John Hughes you fucked up.

It is a great movie, for it’s time, but for all of the above reasons are enough to hate any movie John Hughes did. It’s Why I hate The Breakfast Club, so obviously there is something that separates this movie from those other crappy 80’s movies. Ready for it? I hate this movie not because it sucks, which it does, but because of the people who like this movie. Everyone and their mom loves this movie. They all cum in their pants when this movie is mentioned. They all gather around the TV when TBS replays it at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday and “OH” and “AHHH” as they watch it. Why? Don’t they know this movie sucks?

I think all these people have some really fond memory attached to this movie, and every time they see it they are returned to a time when they weren’t fat, unhappy people. I say fat, unhappy people because the only people who like this movie are middle-aged men and women, who have undoubtedly gotten fat and unhappy as they have aged. Its called growing up. This movie allows them to remember those awkward high school days when things didn’t suck and their biggest aspiration was trying to get laid that weekend. Ah, to be young in this day and age is a lot different.

In conclusion, I just wish people would admit this movie sucks. If they did that, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. If its just a trip down memory lane these people are looking for its fine, just admit this movie sucks ass.

I’m just worried my generation will be the same way with High School Musical or The Hills.

Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please have somebody press 2 for you
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you are delusional, please press 7 and your call will be relayed through a call centre on Klaxus XII to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what number to press.
If you are dyslexic, please press 9286292069119191
If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash button until somebody is able to take your call
If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name.
If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteen, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
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Thank you for your call.

“America… just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”

-Hunter S. Thompson

I hate the way life for your typical person has become. It is a sadly, depressing, story. I acknowledge that this country is one of the main problems. You see the government bailing out Fortune 500 companies and multi billionaires and you wonder, “How can I make something out of this sad and pathetic life when people with more money than God can’t even make theirs work?”

I know how they say money can’t make ya happy, but you have to admit, it is a big priority to have. But, if you see that the country is going broke the same way you do, you have that little glimmer in the back of your mind that tells you that there is no hope at all for mankind. Life is just a dolente wasteland anymore. That is why I live on cutting myself.

But people ask why? Why do you do this to yourself? Because basically, I have no hope in society anymore, and it is a better way to release the pain. It is a killed or be killed world in this country that is heading toward a third world type feel. I would prefer to be dead then live in this world that is heading toward that type of feel. I hate the way this life has become, but sometimes you got to say fuck it and do something to get rid of the pain and sorrow.

Now, I steal an old Hunter S. Thompson quote. “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” If you feel over pressured by stupid shit, just try the cutting, pop that pill, drink that beer, smoke that weed, or just say fuck it and end it all. We all know that life and death are just the same anymore. I don’t plan on living very long in this world. Life is depressing and death is peaceful and the gap between that is hard.

But, for God’s sake, we are living in a country where our nation leaders are being chosen like it was a popularity contest, something on par with American Idol or Dancing With the Stars. Hell, why don’t we get Barack Obama out there dancing with Joe Biden while John McCain and Sarah Palin sings a duet of “Easy” by Lionel Richie, while they whisper to one another how they are gonna corrupt each other. Let’s make it even easier, instead of going somewhere else to vote, you can vote via text message and by calling a 1-800 number.

Why does it matter anyway? I mean the government is gonna decide who they want in the Office anyway. Call me a weirdo for thinking that way but you know it is true.

The government has a secret plot against its people. But, I will not get into that at the moment, but instead change the subject that is opening up a can of whoop ass on the nation, and that is the economy. The economy is like a wonderful ya meet at a bar (when your drunk). You look at her and think, “Wow, that is coming home with me tonight.” Then you talk to her, get her to come home with ya, few drinks, a few cocktails, and BOOM! Your in bed with her. Then ya wake up the next morning, you see all your money gone and her 900 pound gorilla ass running down the street.

The economy has fucked us over more times than OJ Simpson has fucked himself over. I mean at the time I am writing this (October 13, 2008) The DOW Jones has fallen under 9000 for the first time since 2003. I mean, I ain’t complaining because I am an anarcho-capitalist and I push for a free market and no economy, but anyway this sucks for the country.

But, if ya watch the news now-a-days, you will see that there are about four news subject that will dominate the news for a while.

1) There’s an election coming up. And they are smearing each other anyway they can.
2) Economy’s volatile.
3) Hurricanes are all over the place.
4) Alot of unexpected things happening in sports.

In other words, there’s a lot going on.

For the news media, this is a good thing – they don’t have to create news on their own, others are doing it for them. But something’s about to become very applicable, and it’s something that might have never occurred to you – there’s always the same amount of news.

Think about it. Newspapers are roughly the same size from day to day, newscasts are always 30 or 60 minutes long. It takes a huge event to change this – the last two times the news in Southwest Virginia produced a special edition, for example, were 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.

So we’ve created what’s known as the news cycle, the idea that no matter what, there always has to be something going on. The funny and slightly horrible part? People are really, really taking advantage of this.

If you want people to hear about your news, if you want the publicity that comes from media coverage, you wait until a slow spot in the news cycle to release it. Case in point, Marvel Comics’ decision to kill off Captain American a couple of years ago. It doesn’t seem like something that would even make most newscasts, let alone be considered a big story…but Marvel dropped this bombshell when the news cycle was at its slowest, and I remember watching Headline News not only running a story on it, but running it before the first commercial break.

There’s a flipside to this, of course. If someone doesn’t want people to notice their news for whatever reason, they’re well served to release it when the news cycle is at its busiest – as it will be from now through the American election. Something that might ordinarily be front page news will be bumped to the back, while something that would ordinarily be buried deep within the paper won’t make it in at all.

So my plea to you: for the next two months, pay attention to the news. And not just the big stuff (although it is important), also the little things that people are hoping to have slip through undetected.

But, back to my original point, Jake Ball does not plan on living long in life. That is why I try all this stuff to end it. I live by one credence, if you hate life, there is no way out of but killing yourself. I sit here everyday and I am the punching bag physically and mentally for everyone in my life and I refuse to fight back.

I’m not trying to sound morbid. But this is a perspective that I offer when I talk to people about life. If you looked at your tombstone, and could wind the clock back to today, how would you fill in the missing details? Who are you? What did you do? How did your life matter?

I was sitting in Oracle class the other day and wondering one question, “What if I died today?” I know a bunch of people around me would be sad, but most people would be sad for the wrong reasons. People would be sad, because they want fucking attention. And you must be thinking to yourself, Jake Ball, why do you think this why of people? Because people have provided to me in my life, that people are shit. Everyone, everywhere, at anytime, are fucking shit.

Say, I was to walk into school one day and fall over dead, of heart attack (I know, I look like I could have one at any time), people would be sad and crying, not because it was me, but because, oh, another kid died. He was not close to me or I never talked to him, but I must feel sad because everyone else expects this from me. If I died today, you would be sad and ’say’ you were close to me, but, in all actual reality, you never talked to me unless I talked to you first.

People would be on the news, saying:

Reporter: So, how close were you to Jake Ball?

Random Fucker: Oh, we were so close. One day, we were forced to sit beside one another in a class. I mean I don’t know him personally, but we were close.

Like the other day, I was at the Richlands/Marion football game, and I actually decided to walk around and actually let people talk to me first to see who would actually talk to me and four people (Smithy, Dan, Dink, and Shawn Ball) actually came up to me or yelled me over and actually said, “Hey.” It is not like I wouldn’t talk to someone, but I tried my best running into people to get them to talk to me, but I got the “go to hell” look from every damn one of them. Tonight, just destroyed my thoughts and feelings about any relationship with anyone in the fucking world.

People I thought were actually close to me, seemed to stab me in the back. And I realize one thing, my life can only get better from here. And, if it doesn’t, there is always the option of suicide.

This is just my views on the world anymore.

I’m not trying to sound morbid. But this is a perspective that I offer when I talk to people about life. If you looked at your tombstone, and could wind the clock back to today, how would you fill in the missing details? Who are you? What did you do? How did your life matter?

I was sitting in Oracle class the other day and wondering one question, “What if I died today?” I know a bunch of people around me would be sad, but most people would be sad for the wrong reasons. People would be sad, because they want fucking attention. And you must be thinking to yourself, Jake Ball, why do you think this why of people? Because people have provided to me in my life, that people are shit. Everyone, everywhere, at anytime, are fucking shit.

Say, I was to walk into school one day and fall over dead, of heart attack (I know, I look like I could have one at any time), people would be sad and crying, not because it was me, but because, oh, another kid died. He was not close to me or I never talked to him, but I must feel sad because everyone else expects this from me. If I died today, you would be sad and ’say’ you were close to me, but, in all actual reality, you never talked to me unless I talked to you first.

People would be on the news, saying:

Reporter: So, how close were you to Jake Ball?

Random Fucker: Oh, we were so close. One day, we were forced to sit beside one another in a class. I mean I don’t know him personally, but we were close.

Like today, I was at the Richlands/Marion football game, and I actually decided to walk around and actually let people talk to me first to see who would actually talk to me and four people (Smithy, Dan, Dink, and Shawn Ball) actually came up to me or yelled me over and actually said, “Hey.” It is not like I wouldn’t talk to someone, but I tried my best running into people to get them to talk to me, but I got the “go to hell” look from every damn one of them. Tonight, just destroyed my thoughts and feelings about any relationship with anyone in the fucking world.

People I thought were actually close to me, seemed to stab me in the back. And I realize one thing, my life can only get better from here. And, if it doesn’t, there is always the option of suicide.

British Gamer Allegedly Murdered Over Forum Dispute
Police suspect an online argument with a German gamer may have lead to the slaying.
By Kris Pigna, 09/29/2008

Matthew Pyke 20, was stabbed to death in his home in Nottingham, England, over what police suspect may have been an online dispute with a German gamer (via Telegraph.co.uk).

The suspect, 21-year-old David Heiss, was arrested near Frankfurt in Germany. Police at first didn’t say whether the arrested man was Heiss, but details later emerged confirming that Heiss was in fact the man arrested in connection with this case (via This is Nottingham). Not long after the killing, Heiss posted a message on the Facebook page of Pyke’s girlfriend, Joanna Witton, where he apologized for “having caused so much trouble lately.”

Pyke and Witton ran a fansite for Advance Wars, which included (as many gaming fansites do) a forum for patrons to chat with each other. Police suspect a possible motive may be that Heiss — who was a member of the forum under the name “Eagle the Lightning” — entered into a dispute with Pyke online, and actually flew to the U.K. in order to exact this tragic “revenge.” Curiously, another anonymous poster suggested that some forum members may know more about the case, with a message that read, “We may know a lot of what was going on prior to the killing, but I, for one, am not going to say any more.”

Heiss is believed to be in custody in the German town of Limburg an der Lahn. He was scheduled to appear in court in Frankfurt for an extradition hearing, although according to MSN U.K., the hearing was delayed due to Nottinghamshire police failing to provide the extensive paperwork needed in time. It’s also not yet known whether Heiss will contest the extradition application from British authorities.

Heiss’ Facebook page shows he is “friends” with Witton, although the message he posted on her page was the first he ever left for her. It read in full, “I will pray for you — you must be suffering unbelievable pain. I’m sorry for having caused so much trouble lately. I hope you won’t lose all your hope. We will be there for you.”

On Thursday, Pyke’s parents left a memorial on his Facebook page. It read, “Darling Matthew. We love you so much and miss you. You were a truly good, sensitive person. Your smile will live on in our hearts.”

1. You have had to figure that this would be seen eventually. I hate to see it, bt gaming is a “killed or be killed” world. Damn, that joke made me feel bad.

2. I was running through my e-mail yesterday, deleteing random junk when I cam across a message like this.

Re: Dear Friend‏ 
From: Peter Wong (gschoeller@bluewin.ch) 
Sent: September 24, 2008 6:22:48 PM 
To: JakeBall_46@hotmail.com

Dear Friend,

I am Mr.Peter Wong Non Executive Director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Hong Kong.I have a deceased client funds in my bank of $44.5MUSD and i need you to front as beneficiary,your benefit is 50% of the total funds.If you are interested contact me for more information via wong_p11@hotmail.com

Sincerely
Mr.Peter

The first thing I thought was, of course, hilarity. I didn’t think these stupid e-mails where still around, let alone taking money from people. But, hell, apparently, I have just randomly become a millionaire.

By BROCK VERGAKIS – 23 hours ago

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Utah’s supply of flavored malt beverages will likely be exhausted in a few weeks as manufacturers decide whether to comply with labeling rules intended to make it clear the products contain alcohol.

Utah has some of the strictest liquor laws in the country, a byproduct of its large Mormon population. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints counsels members not to drink alcohol, and the church is highly influential among state lawmakers on alcohol policy.

On Wednesday, Utah will be the only state to ban the sale of fruity alcoholic drinks at grocery stores and convenience stores in an effort to keep them from minors. Those drinks also must have new state-approved labels on the front of the product that contain capitalized letters in bold type telling consumers the drinks contain alcohol and at what percentage.

So far, no new labels have been approved. Utah Department of Alcholic Beverage Control spokeswoman Sharon Mackay said the state’s limited supply of those drinks will likely be gone in a few weeks.

Flavored malt beverages are already sold in state liquor stores, but they have a higher alcohol content than what has been allowed in grocery stores. They also have the same labels found in the rest of the country.

Some manufacturers have already decided it’s not worth it to produce new labels just for Utah.

“Thanks to the Legislature, Smirnoff Ice is no longer available in Utah,” said Zsoka McDonald, spokeswoman for Diageo, one of the world’s largest multinational beer, wine and spirits firms. “It’s just not cost effective.”

Mackay said the department won’t reorder any of the flavored malt beverages it has in stock until manufacturers comply with new labeling requirements.

“Many manufacturers, frankly, have not decided whether it’s worth carrying the product to make changes on the labels,” Mackay said. “It’s anybody’s guess which ones will be carried.”

Republican Gov. Jon Huntsman said banning products like Zima, Smirnoff Ice and Seagram’s Fuzzy Navel from grocery stores would harm Utah’s image, but agreed to it in exchange for increasing the amount of liquor allowed in shots and standard cocktails to 1.5 ounces, up from 1 ounce.

3. Wow. Utah is fucked up now-a-days.

A new law intended to protect abandoned infants in Nebraska is having an unexpected effect. So far, 14 children — many preteens or teenagers — have been dropped off at Nebraska hospitals. State officials say parents fed up with raising unruly older children are misusing the law. Now they’re calling on the legislature to change the law to restrict the age to younger children.

5. You don’t want your teenager, move to Nebraska! I mean my god, can people be any stupider? Not the safe haven people, but the people who are taking the teens there and saying, “Just stay here, you sorry sack of shit.”

And our final random musing of the day.

A Shelby County man and his wife said two doctors amputated the man’s penis without his consent, and have filed a lawsuit.

According to the lawsuit, Philip Seaton went to have a circumcision last October. Seaton said when he woke up from the procedure, he realized his penis had been amputated.

Seaton has suffered mental anguish, pain, and has lost the enjoyment of life, according to the lawsuit.

The lawsuit was filed in Shelby County court last week against Dr. John Patterson, who performed the procedure, Dr. Oliver James, who administered anesthesia, and Commonwealth Urology, PSC.

The lawsuit states that Patterson received consent to perform a circumcision and only a circumcision, and that Seaton did not consent to his penis being removed.

Kevin George, the plaintiff’s attorney, said Patterson amputated the organ after finding cancer, but he only had consent to remove the foreskin.

“Sometimes you have an emergency and you have to do this, but he could very easily closed him up and said, ‘Here are your options. You have cancer,’ and the family would have said, ‘We want a second opinion. This is a big deal,’” George said.

The lawsuit also claims the plaintiff did not consent to general anesthesia.

WLKY attempted to contact the doctors, but have not been able to reach them.

The Seatons are seeking punitive damages against both doctors and the medical practice. Attorneys for the defendants will now have a chance to respond to the suit.

5. What I think is hilarious about this is, that the doctor never told him he had cancer. He just chopped little Seaton off. The best part of this article is the part where Seaton is sueing for pain, anguish, and the lost of enjoyment in life. YATHINKSO?!?!?!?!