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Hi, guys and gal’s, I tuned in to the VMA’s tonight and decided I would type up some of my thought’s on what I could bare to watch from the VMA’s, I did make it through first hour. And here is what I wrote, spelling errors, and everything. I refused to edit one thing.

well, it’s Jake Ball back with a new blog and this time we will be doing a time line, ala Tucker Max style. And with this one, it shall be my reactiosn to the MTV VMA’s or what we shall call Britney Spears Good PR show.

The show started at 9:00 pm, eastern, with the tag line, don’t miss the opening act. The opening act

9:00: Disappointing opening with Rihanna rolling around on ground with zombies and Britney Spears saying like 30 words about nothing.

9:10: Russell Brand (who is that) comes out and runs down the Republican party and seems highly aroused by Jonas Brothers

9:19: First awrad, finlly given out and it Best Female, Britney Spears no surprise. After they mentioned a hundred times, she had never won a VMA and she opened it by saying a total of about 30 words.

9:21: Finally something I am interested in, commericials, but nothing can be safe as they have VMA Alert on the side telling us what is coming up next which I guess is Pop Award and little polls you can vote on on MTV.com.

9:23: Fucking get off the voting shit. No one wants to hear about it anymore. There is another voting thing, followed by a Truth thing which is getting ridiculous too, where his mom is smoking in car and when she drops him off at school he farts on here. Truth needs to shut the fuck up and let me smoke already.

9:25: Oh, yes. A fucking reality show involving Paris Hilton and she is now picking a best friend. Jesus Tittyfucking Chirst.

9:26: Russell Brands voice is killing me as he introduces Demi Moore with Best Male Video award. Her age is catching up with her as she forgets a mic, and most of her lines and has to read thems, and she still ain’t that bad looking.

9:27 I check my phone and have 1,000 messages from a crazy chick who likes me, I check them as Chris Brown’s “Without Me” wins the award, I could care less, he is most likely dancing and thanking God like all rappers do.

9:29: Shut the fuck up, Russell Brand. Taylor Swift is bring on Jonas Brother both suck in different ways. She can suck it. Literally.

9:30: Time to change the channel, Jonas Brothers are probably blowing one another at the moment, so I turn to football game to see a Frank Caliendo ad with William Shatner. Even that is better than anything Jonas Brother have to offer. Jonas Brother are just this generations verison of N-Sync and Backstreet Fags, but whatever as long as thier are 14 year old girls who want them to bone them they will still be around.

9:32: I pop back over to see if mayham had stopped, I totally expected to see Russell Brand humping all three Jonas Brother’s legs. Obviviously Jonas Brothers could not do something live, as this is taped all the way.

9:33: I would fucking bang the shit out of Katy Perry. By the way, she is preforming “Like A Virgin”, not well at all, but still I would totally hit that.

9:34: Commericial time again, they will do anything to cash off 16 year old Brats now won’t they? As I see My Super Sweet Exile or something like that. I hope one of them gets ate by a tiger then the dead corpse humped by Elephants.

9:36: Fuck yes, new Taco Bell singing drive thru commericial. It is great with your sterotypical black guys rapping, then the fucking Sobe life lizard, this one was not as good as Super Bowl one with Michael Jackson.

9:39: Katy Perry still singing, she is singing I Kissed A Girl, I would still fucking hit that. But, they is beyond the point. Again, shut the fuck up, Rusell Brand. Michael Phelps is in the building, damn, no gold metals with him.

9:40: Michael Phelps is not chrismatic at all, but he introduces Lil’ Wayne, I decide to make a food run.

9:43: Lil’ Wayne is still going much to my disappointment, he is still repeating the same words over and over. Here comes T-Pain, wow, that makes me want to stay. I decide I would wonder around on CPU.

9:45: Is Lil’ Wayne a blood and T-Pain a ring master at a circus? Jesus, I hate everyone on this show. Except, Katy Perry. I would hit that. Shut the fuck up, Russell Brand, your Bristish style of comedy is not my style, sir. Not at all, you lose, good day, sir. Linsdey “I love cameras” Lohan, and some unknown women to me, introduce Dance crews which some Fanny Pack group won. WOOPIE! They win a golden toliet seat or some shit, I don’t give a damn.

9:49: Best Dancing In A Video award goes to The Pussycat Doll’s, “When I Grow Up”. They are okay, by me. Except the lead singer who’s voice I can not stand now. They were basically humping the air and first thing they do is, good figure, Thank God, for helping them be sluts or something. Hell, great show, so far. (Sarcasism) I knew we could not go the whole show without a shout out to the military.

9:50: Miley Cyrus is preforming next, that is the punchline, I have nothing else. Also, what will Mario Lopez not host anymore, he is hosting America’s Pop Grow or something, my vote goes to Pepsi. >_>.

9:52: Wow, they are sure having alot of commericials, I counted almost 30 minutes of this hour was commericials.

9:54: Still on commericial.

9:55: Fucking Sharon Osbourne with the Rock Of Love Charm School, fuck damn it. I hate reality TV.

9:56: Is Pete Wintz a fag? He looks like it. Pussy Cat Doll’s are back counting votes apparently. Katy Perry, me still want to hit that. STFU, Russell Brand.

9:57: The cast of Twlight books are introduced, I hate those books, so no more commenting them. Paramore(?) is now playing. Russell Brand is interupting everything and everyone. I hate them and you.

9:58: Paramore has got kinda of a thrash feel, I am liking it. Oh, they are singing about love, fuck off that killed it for me.

10:00: I have reached one hour, I feel invinsible. This Paramone lead singer chick is angry person. Me no like. Big board that says RIOT is flashing behind them, they are promoting violence, they just won some points with me.

10:02: They are over and in ten minutes, Miley Cyrus, lets get the pedofiles in their rooms and my ear plugs in. Paris Hilton needs a best friend and she is doing a reality show, the world is horrible. Can we make a law against these?

10:04: Who ate my volocano taco?

10:06: Holy Pepsi Made Up Of Different Stuff Guy, Pepsi is copying Coke Reward’s deal.

10:07: Russell Brand, STFU. Still humping the Jonas Brothers it seems. Slash and Shia LaBuffmycar are now on the dias, they are awarding the Best Rock Video award to (it should have been Slipknot) Linkin Park, who are dress very hobo meets Steve and Barry’s tonight.

10:10: Rusell Brand is still annoying and Miley Cyrus is butchering Living On A Prayer on Rock Band (o.0), she is introducing Pink, she is not a color, and she was wearing blue, not pink. Her name is fucking trademark infringement or something. Fuck Pink. I would…or not.

10:12: Alot of pyro is being used in these songs.

10:13: I finally say fuck it, and just stop watching VMA’s and go to playing NCAA.