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People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

“PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves,” the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

In a statement Ben and Jerry’s said, “We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child.”

Read PETA’s letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield
September 23, 2008
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders
Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I’d like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry’s.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

Using cow’s milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer’s health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America’s leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow’s milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America’s number one cause of death.

Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can’t produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to 17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can’t even turn around.

The breast is best! Won’t you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow’s milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Tracy Reiman
Executive Vice President

Ben and Jerry’s is a fairly large company so wouldn’t it logically take a metric fuck of breast milk to meet their supply needs? How do they justify the idea that farming human women is more humane than cows? I suggest we find out by infiltrating their workshop of breast milking. Also, I volunteer for the job. Ah screw it, I’ll set up my own breast milk ice cream factory. With booze and hookers!

But I like PETA’s thinking, ”Hmm, mankind has been drinking cow’s milk for centuries…. WE MUST STOP THIS INJUSTICE!”

A South African couple has died after being hit by a freight train while having sexual intercourse on railroad tracks. The couple, who are yet to be identified, were having intercourse on the tracks in the Mpumalanga Province of the African country. The engineer yelled warnings at the couple to move, but according to him, they ignored them. South Africa’s national freight railway is called Transnet.

The man, in his thirties, was dismembered and died at the scene. The women, in her twenties, was transported to a local hospital but later died from her injures.

An investigation is taking place to determine if the women was being raped or if she was having intercourse out of her own free will. One witness states that she may have been a prostitute. Anyone with information on the couple and who they might have been are to contact authorities.

The one question is…were they coming or going?

There’s no difference between the two actually. You see there’s a lot of uneducated men out that talking like blithering idiots about how they’re a nice guy and they never get the girl. And that some asshole takes her and treats her like shit. Blah blah.. its all been said but let me just say there is no difference. Confidence separates Man from “nice guy”.

I am so tired of hearing it. I search website after website and talk to countless men and you know what they all say? That women like assholes, let me get one thing straight. Women don’t like assholes and women also don’t like obsessive, horribly nice guys either. From my understanding of women in my seventeen years of life are that women like a guy that maintains a sense of self has confidence and a moral standard.

All these combined create a sense of indifference. I harp on that word a lot because indifference is the true aspect and respect for ones self. When your indifferent you don’t place importance on keeping a woman in your life, you place it on yourself because at the end of this road my friend you will die alone. As morbid as that sounds its the fucking truth. So why can’t you put importance on your personal happiness?

When a man does this, he doesn’t take shit from a woman if she argues or yells at him. He’ll turn his nose up in the air until she’s finished which in turn gets her more fired up (while an asshole will yell back). And its not because the man doesn’t care its because he doesn’t want to hear it, especially if it was unwarranted.

Here are a few examples of what makes a man:

1) A man does not Apologize for things that deserve no apology.
2) A man puts a woman in her place if she does him wrong.
3) A man respects his friends and his women all the same.
4) A man WILL walk away when a girl shows him disrespect.
5) A man doesn’t need a woman in his life, because he is happy with his own.
6) A man understands that a relationship is an ADDITION to HIS LIFE not the driving force around it.

I could go over so many principles of what it is to be a man. It’s is these principles that make those nice guys jealous that they can’t do this. But, granted there are true dicks out there that can’t respect a woman regardless, believe it those men are also very single.

Here a few examples of what a nice guy does:

1) A nice guy places importance on keeping the girl happy.
2) A nice guy thinks that buying things means affection.
3) A nice guy makes a relationship the driving force of his life and not an addition to it.
4) A nice guy fears losing the “girl of his dreams”.
5) A nice guy still believes in true love.
6) A nice guy NEEDS a woman in his life because he is insecure with his own.
7) A nice guy submits in the face of adversity and apologizes for things that aren’t his fault.

You see these are the principles in which a NICE guy builds his foundation upon. ALL OF IT, every sickening point! Is about supplicating.. feeding the fire, INSECURITY! we’ll cover more in the future. However take this time to review the principles and heed them well.

I used to sit at the back of the room wondering what in the world I had to do to become the ‘apple of her eye’ if you will. And when I grow enoguh nuts to go ask her something, she says “you’re too nice” or “let’s be friends,” or any of those “grr why do they love the assholes not me?” cliches, it’s down to confidence. Most men mistake ‘confident’ as ‘asshole’ and so endeavor to be ‘nice’ which means they are in fact being ‘wussy.’ This is not what you want to do. The reason so many women go out with dicks is because it’s the only way they can get hold of a man who doesn’t seem to need this amazingly beautiful, amazing, wonderful, etc etc girl to validate their existence in some stupid way. They’re not happy with it, they’re making do. It’s like they’re cooking, they don’t have the exact ingredients, so they just substitute something similar in. Your job is not to be totally unlike the replacement ingredient, thus making yourself useless, but to be the thing they’re actually after in the first place.

For me, it’s a pretty weird situation. I have actually been the same perosn for two or three years now, refusing to change myself, but because I didn’t believe in myself (depression and regret did that to me), it was hard for me to get into a relationship unless the girl asked. For the longest time I didn’t believe in myself, said I was too fat and ugly, and tried to hard, appearing timid. For a few years I wasn’t in a relationship, had a couple of flings, but not a relationship because I didn’t believe in myself and didn’t love myself.

Last year I actually got into my mind, that instead of worrying about someone liking me and wanting to date, but at that point I said “screw it, I really don’t care anymore and I’m just going to have fun.” I just had fun a lot and didn’t worry about how I was perceived in front of girls. I’m actually had a bout with depression this past summer, though I’m back on the way up. Still, I get a lot of looks from hot girls and pretty girls because I have fun and really don’t try too hard to impress anyone. The most important thing I tell myself is just to have fun, and it works for me. Takes a while to realize it, took me a long time of being down on myself, but once I did it opened up a world of opportunities.

I’ll have a quick go at explaining how to ‘be more confident.’ As we learned from the other situations, a lot of guys seem to have this complex where they view their own self-worth in terms of whether or not they’re with a woman, how hot she is, how much sex they’re having, etc. Girls do this too, to a greater or lesser extent, and it’s just as foolish when either person does it. The only person who can define your self-worth is you, and it shouldn’t be defined by whether or not you’re scoring on a regular basis – take a step back, look at yourself, and realise what you do have going. So many people come to me and whine because of what they don’t have, or the things that mean people won’t want to go out with them, and if you concentrate on that then you’re already lost. If you hate yourself, why should anybody else believe you’re such a good catch? As hard as it may seem, you’re pretty awesome – most people, in all actuality, are. Focus on what you do have, and ways you can play down the negatives and make them work for you.

Using myself as an example – I’m not drop-dead gorgeous, or hideously ugly. In a room with 10 other men in it, I’d probably be the 5th or 6th best looking guy in it, but I don’t let that bother me – I have other things I can do better than those other 4 or 5 guys. I have a fairly well-developed sense of style, so I always look nice, which helps that physical thing, but mostly I focus on the areas where I’m much stronger – I’m erudite, expressive, outgoing and above all I know what I’m worth, which sounds cliche but is actually a big deal. Girls have approached me over better-looking friends because I “look more interesting” or, to take a phrase from the mouth of a late summer fling, I “was probably the only person in the room who looked like they might have something to say in the morning” (we were at a house party). Confidence is about you, first and foremost, not the person you’re trying to impress. As soon as you try to impress anyone, you’re fucked – I went out to that house party after a long day, wasn’t too keen on it, and certainly didn’t do any of the ‘let’s pull’ preparation (nicest clothes, cologne, hair, etc), but I came away with more friends and happiness knowing that I didn’t have to impress anyone.

It’s by no means easy, but you have to be comfortable with you before anyone else will be – if a girl turns you down, ever, no matter who she is or what the situation is, you need to believe that it’s her loss at the end of the day. Then you’re in.

In honor of “Speak Like A Pirate Day”, we shall watch this video of an animation to the song “We Are A Pirate. Watch it or so help me god, I will stick something like and hard in your eye.

A PET fish has given new meaning to swimming upstream after it managed to get into its owner’s penis while the boy was urinating.

The 2cm long fish apparently found it’s way into the penis of the 14-year-old Indian boy in a bizarre medical case.

The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.

Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: “While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.”

After detecting the fish in the boy’s bladder, Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient’s penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones.

The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide.

He was later admitted into counseling to help him overcome any trauma.

Oww, fuck. That would have to hurt. I bet the frisky bugger put it in there. You never have to pee bad enough that you couldn’t put fish down first.

Playing the role of Jake, myself.

Playing the role of Kevin, Kevin.

Playing the role of Danny The Mine, my little brother.

Kevin: Well, god… I guess I’ll talk to you next time than.

Now for an exercise in grammar, should the above be “then” because it’s at the end of sentence? Someone told me that once, and it stuck with me… but I don’t believe them.

Jake: It should be ‘then’, but because ‘then’ is correct in that situation where as ‘than’ is not. ‘Than’ is generally used when comparing two things, ‘then’ for any other use.

Kevin: You know I don’t speak English, well at all I are does not.

Jake: I can tell.

Oh, and the little brother was pretending to be trapped in a box.

Dan: I don’t believe you! You people have noticed me in this box this whole time, and neither of you have decided to help me.

This conversation continued, but I don’t remember any of the rest.

As far as I can remember, I’ve never known anybody named Dave. (Or, for that matter, Fred, but Fred seems to be dying out these days.)

This seems weird to me.

P.S.: I had been typing a long blog (6 or so paragraphs containing at least 8 sentences each, about the elections, but it was just a mesh of words about how I believe McCain and Obama should box ‘Rocky 6′ style in the ring. But I decided this random fact was more important. You wanna hear something about the election, turn on your T.V. and go to any news show. You will not see anything on election on here until it is over with.

If ya watch the news now-a-days, you will see that there are about four news subject that will dominate the news for a while.

1) There’s an election coming up. And they are smearing each other anyway they can.
2) Economy’s volatile.
3) Hurricanes are all over the place.
4) Alot of unexpected things happening in sports.

In other words, there’s a lot going on.

For the news media, this is a good thing – they don’t have to create news on their own, others are doing it for them. But something’s about to become very applicable, and it’s something that might have never occurred to you – there’s always the same amount of news.

Think about it. Newspapers are roughly the same size from day to day, newscasts are always 30 or 60 minutes long. It takes a huge event to change this – the last two times the news in Southwest Virginia produced a special edition, for example, were 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.

So we’ve created what’s known as the news cycle, the idea that no matter what, there always has to be something going on. The funny and slightly horrible part? People are really, really taking advantage of this.

If you want people to hear about your news, if you want the publicity that comes from media coverage, you wait until a slow spot in the news cycle to release it. Case in point, Marvel Comics’ decision to kill off Captain American a couple of years ago. It doesn’t seem like something that would even make most newscasts, let alone be considered a big story…but Marvel dropped this bombshell when the news cycle was at its slowest, and I remember watching Headline News not only running a story on it, but running it before the first commercial break.

There’s a flipside to this, of course. If someone doesn’t want people to notice their news for whatever reason, they’re well served to release it when the news cycle is at its busiest – as it will be from now through the American election. Something that might ordinarily be front page news will be bumped to the back, while something that would ordinarily be buried deep within the paper won’t make it in at all.

So my plea to you: for the next two months, pay attention to the news. And not just the big stuff (although it is important), also the little things that people are hoping to have slip through undetected.

As I sit here, just getting home from going to the Richland/Abingdon football game, which Richlands won 27 to 16, thanks for asking, and going to Wal-Mart at midnight-ish and buying the “Death Magnetic” by Metallica. I feel like it is time for some random thoughts by the Jakester. So in true, Troy “T.J.” Sparks style, we will go ahead and write in a few musings.

1)Death Magnetic is probably one of the better Metallica albums I have ever heard just for the fact that Rick Ruben is making this one.

2)Also, about a week or two ago, I finished the book “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”, by Tucker Max, I have to say, it is one of the most foulest and greatest books of all time. Schools should make things like this the normal stuff in libraries.

3)I was reading a blog on ESPN.com where a guy counted down the things that annoy him sports. What annoys me in sports is people like this? People who think their team is the greatest team ever in the history of organized team sports, perfect example of this is anyone from the Boston/New England area. These people’s team has no imperfections. I put it like it is, I know my team will end up being horrible and I don’t play it up like they are the greatest.

4)I know some of this will sound horrible, but it is currently (meaning as I just type this message) 12:40, and I have been awake since 8 Wednesday, so fuck you and your writing racism. Again, like with any of my posts once, I type something down. It will not be edited in the end.

5)Chad Ohco Cinco, need I say more.

6)What I don’t get about black people, yes I said black people, baw gawd, Jake Ball has to be a racist for saying it but, is black people think they deserve more than any other person in this world. I get it, slavery was bad, 200 years, blah, blah, blah. IT looks like you and your family has recovered from slavery so, fuck off with this, “BLACKS ARE BEING TREATED WITH INJUSTICE” to me, because I will laugh right in your fucking face. I believe, after kissing your ass forever has spoiled ya a little. So call me a fucking racist, I don’t care. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

7)So, my ex hits me up on MySpace, then texts me, and is dropping hints about wanting to hang out and shit, asking if I’m dating anyone, then says she’s ‘pretty serious’ with someone, yet continues to act… strangely. Says she’s gonna call me. I say I am at football game, she goes nuts on me for my love of football and accuses me of cheating on her and then starts saying sorry for going nuts before jumping all over me because I didn’t check my phone when talking to friends. Fuckin’ women. Need to make up their minds and quite being crazier than shit.

8)http://fatchicksinpartyhats.com/ WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

9)So, after the football game, I go out to my car and start to head toward the house. I get in, and I realize, my car is fucking unlocked. I open the door, and to my horror, all of my change is stolen. After this settles, I realize….my cell phone, CD’s, and a few Xbox 360 games are on the passenger seat, completely untouched. Stupid fucking drunks/crack heads.

10)And finally I was snooping around the articles on a local forum I go to and found this article about KFC and the secret chicken recipe.

KFC shoring up security for secret recipe By BRUCE SCHREINER, Associated Press Writer
LOUISVILLE, Ky. – Pssst. The secret’s out at KFC. Well, sort of. Colonel Harland Sanders’ handwritten recipe of 11 herbs and spices was to be removed Tuesday from safekeeping at KFC’s corporate offices for the first time in decades. The temporary relocation is allowing KFC to revamp security around a yellowing sheet of paper that contains one of the country’s most famous corporate secrets.

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The brand’s top executive admitted his nerves were aflutter despite the tight security he lined up for the operation.

“I don’t want to be the president who loses the recipe,” KFC President Roger Eaton said. “Imagine how terrifying that would be.”

So important is the 68-year-old concoction that coats the chain’s Original Recipe chicken that only two company executives at any time have access to it. The company refuses to release their name or title, and it uses multiple suppliers who produce and blend the ingredients but know only a part of the entire contents.

Louisville-based KFC, part of the fast-food company Yum Brands Inc., hired off-duty police officers and private security guards to whisk the document away to an undisclosed location in an armored car. The recipe will be slid into a briefcase and handcuffed to security expert Bo Dietl for the ride.

“There’s no way anybody could get this recipe,” said Dietl, a former New York City police detective. His security firm is also handling the security improvements for the recipe at headquarters, but he wouldn’t say what changes they’re making.

For more than 20 years, the recipe has been tucked away in a filing cabinet equipped with two combination locks in company headquarters. To reach the cabinet, the keepers of the recipe would first open up a vault and unlock three locks on a door that stood in front of the cabinet.

Vials of the herbs and spices are also stored in the secret filing cabinet.

“The smell is overwhelming when you open it,” said one of two keepers of the recipe in an interview at company headquarters.

The biggest prize, though, is a single sheet of notebook paper, yellowed by age, that lays out the entire formula – including exact amounts for each ingredient – written in pencil and signed by Sanders.

Others have tried to replicate the recipe, and occasionally someone claims to have found a copy of Sanders’ creation. The executive said none have come close, adding the actual recipe would include some surprises.

Sanders developed the formula in 1940 at his tiny restaurant in southeastern Kentucky and used it to launch the KFC chain in the early 1950s.

Sanders died in 1980, but his likeness is still central to KFC’s marketing.

“The recipe to him, in later years, was everything he stood for,” said Shirley Topmiller, his personal secretary for about 12 years.

Larry Miller, a restaurant analyst with RBC Capital Markets, said the recipe’s value is “almost an immeasurable thing. It’s part of that important brand image that helps differentiate the KFC product.”

KFC had a total of 14,892 locations worldwide at the end of 2007. The chain has had strong sales overseas, especially in its fast-growing China market, but has struggled in the U.S. amid a more health-conscious public. KFC posted U.S. sales of $5.3 billion at company-owned and franchised stores in 2007.

Well, that is it for the Oreo Jakester tonight, he is off to bed and then working till 5.

Hi, guys and gal’s, I tuned in to the VMA’s tonight and decided I would type up some of my thought’s on what I could bare to watch from the VMA’s, I did make it through first hour. And here is what I wrote, spelling errors, and everything. I refused to edit one thing.

well, it’s Jake Ball back with a new blog and this time we will be doing a time line, ala Tucker Max style. And with this one, it shall be my reactiosn to the MTV VMA’s or what we shall call Britney Spears Good PR show.

The show started at 9:00 pm, eastern, with the tag line, don’t miss the opening act. The opening act

9:00: Disappointing opening with Rihanna rolling around on ground with zombies and Britney Spears saying like 30 words about nothing.

9:10: Russell Brand (who is that) comes out and runs down the Republican party and seems highly aroused by Jonas Brothers

9:19: First awrad, finlly given out and it Best Female, Britney Spears no surprise. After they mentioned a hundred times, she had never won a VMA and she opened it by saying a total of about 30 words.

9:21: Finally something I am interested in, commericials, but nothing can be safe as they have VMA Alert on the side telling us what is coming up next which I guess is Pop Award and little polls you can vote on on MTV.com.

9:23: Fucking get off the voting shit. No one wants to hear about it anymore. There is another voting thing, followed by a Truth thing which is getting ridiculous too, where his mom is smoking in car and when she drops him off at school he farts on here. Truth needs to shut the fuck up and let me smoke already.

9:25: Oh, yes. A fucking reality show involving Paris Hilton and she is now picking a best friend. Jesus Tittyfucking Chirst.

9:26: Russell Brands voice is killing me as he introduces Demi Moore with Best Male Video award. Her age is catching up with her as she forgets a mic, and most of her lines and has to read thems, and she still ain’t that bad looking.

9:27 I check my phone and have 1,000 messages from a crazy chick who likes me, I check them as Chris Brown’s “Without Me” wins the award, I could care less, he is most likely dancing and thanking God like all rappers do.

9:29: Shut the fuck up, Russell Brand. Taylor Swift is bring on Jonas Brother both suck in different ways. She can suck it. Literally.

9:30: Time to change the channel, Jonas Brothers are probably blowing one another at the moment, so I turn to football game to see a Frank Caliendo ad with William Shatner. Even that is better than anything Jonas Brother have to offer. Jonas Brother are just this generations verison of N-Sync and Backstreet Fags, but whatever as long as thier are 14 year old girls who want them to bone them they will still be around.

9:32: I pop back over to see if mayham had stopped, I totally expected to see Russell Brand humping all three Jonas Brother’s legs. Obviviously Jonas Brothers could not do something live, as this is taped all the way.

9:33: I would fucking bang the shit out of Katy Perry. By the way, she is preforming “Like A Virgin”, not well at all, but still I would totally hit that.

9:34: Commericial time again, they will do anything to cash off 16 year old Brats now won’t they? As I see My Super Sweet Exile or something like that. I hope one of them gets ate by a tiger then the dead corpse humped by Elephants.

9:36: Fuck yes, new Taco Bell singing drive thru commericial. It is great with your sterotypical black guys rapping, then the fucking Sobe life lizard, this one was not as good as Super Bowl one with Michael Jackson.

9:39: Katy Perry still singing, she is singing I Kissed A Girl, I would still fucking hit that. But, they is beyond the point. Again, shut the fuck up, Rusell Brand. Michael Phelps is in the building, damn, no gold metals with him.

9:40: Michael Phelps is not chrismatic at all, but he introduces Lil’ Wayne, I decide to make a food run.

9:43: Lil’ Wayne is still going much to my disappointment, he is still repeating the same words over and over. Here comes T-Pain, wow, that makes me want to stay. I decide I would wonder around on CPU.

9:45: Is Lil’ Wayne a blood and T-Pain a ring master at a circus? Jesus, I hate everyone on this show. Except, Katy Perry. I would hit that. Shut the fuck up, Russell Brand, your Bristish style of comedy is not my style, sir. Not at all, you lose, good day, sir. Linsdey “I love cameras” Lohan, and some unknown women to me, introduce Dance crews which some Fanny Pack group won. WOOPIE! They win a golden toliet seat or some shit, I don’t give a damn.

9:49: Best Dancing In A Video award goes to The Pussycat Doll’s, “When I Grow Up”. They are okay, by me. Except the lead singer who’s voice I can not stand now. They were basically humping the air and first thing they do is, good figure, Thank God, for helping them be sluts or something. Hell, great show, so far. (Sarcasism) I knew we could not go the whole show without a shout out to the military.

9:50: Miley Cyrus is preforming next, that is the punchline, I have nothing else. Also, what will Mario Lopez not host anymore, he is hosting America’s Pop Grow or something, my vote goes to Pepsi. >_>.

9:52: Wow, they are sure having alot of commericials, I counted almost 30 minutes of this hour was commericials.

9:54: Still on commericial.

9:55: Fucking Sharon Osbourne with the Rock Of Love Charm School, fuck damn it. I hate reality TV.

9:56: Is Pete Wintz a fag? He looks like it. Pussy Cat Doll’s are back counting votes apparently. Katy Perry, me still want to hit that. STFU, Russell Brand.

9:57: The cast of Twlight books are introduced, I hate those books, so no more commenting them. Paramore(?) is now playing. Russell Brand is interupting everything and everyone. I hate them and you.

9:58: Paramore has got kinda of a thrash feel, I am liking it. Oh, they are singing about love, fuck off that killed it for me.

10:00: I have reached one hour, I feel invinsible. This Paramone lead singer chick is angry person. Me no like. Big board that says RIOT is flashing behind them, they are promoting violence, they just won some points with me.

10:02: They are over and in ten minutes, Miley Cyrus, lets get the pedofiles in their rooms and my ear plugs in. Paris Hilton needs a best friend and she is doing a reality show, the world is horrible. Can we make a law against these?

10:04: Who ate my volocano taco?

10:06: Holy Pepsi Made Up Of Different Stuff Guy, Pepsi is copying Coke Reward’s deal.

10:07: Russell Brand, STFU. Still humping the Jonas Brothers it seems. Slash and Shia LaBuffmycar are now on the dias, they are awarding the Best Rock Video award to (it should have been Slipknot) Linkin Park, who are dress very hobo meets Steve and Barry’s tonight.

10:10: Rusell Brand is still annoying and Miley Cyrus is butchering Living On A Prayer on Rock Band (o.0), she is introducing Pink, she is not a color, and she was wearing blue, not pink. Her name is fucking trademark infringement or something. Fuck Pink. I would…or not.

10:12: Alot of pyro is being used in these songs.

10:13: I finally say fuck it, and just stop watching VMA’s and go to playing NCAA.