[insert blog title here]

Well, hell yeah. It looks like Good Ol’ JB, Jake Ball, has finally got a blog up and a going. It’s been a while, mostly because of work at K-Mart and school starting, but thinking about, it Labor Day weekend is the best time to get one going, so we will get the formalities out of the way and get this blog a rolling.

Alot of people will not let it out on a blog, but whatever. Most of you will refused to ever talk to me in public, so I will just tell ya about myself on here. Hi, I am Jake Ball, and I am insane. I am wracked with self-doubt. I have panic attacks. I have anthropophobia (fear of being in company), autophobia (fear of being alone), glossophobia (fear of being alone), laliophobia (fear of speaking), necrophobia (fear of death), nyctophobia (fear of the dark), panphobia (fear of everything messing up), phonephobia (fear of talking on telephone), and phobiaphobia (fear of having phobias). I talk to myself. I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often I am depressed, bipolar, and want to commit suicide. And, as I mentioned before, I am insane. I’m narcissistic, I’m pessimistic, I’m obsessive, I’m insecure and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.

But, being messed up is my thing. I have learned after the first 13 years of my life, nothing will bother us or mess up are life, because we have seen most of the time when God, or whoever the higher being you pray to is (again, in my case Ric Flair), about to take a big wet massive wet shat on us, we have learned to just step on over to the side. But, normal people that is a different story. Normal people are the ones that will freak over the smallest things. They have not had enough screwed up things happen in there life to know what to do when a problem arises, They just snap. Like this situation, “Oh my god, my Hot Pocket didn’t cook all the way, IS THERE NO GOD?!?, Where is my battle axe? I am going to Wal-Mart.”

I live within the area of Raven, Virginia, but most people don’t acknowledge it as a town, even though we have our own post office. If you have a post office, your a town. But, nonetheless, most people would say I am from Richlands. Well, most of the people in Richlands are snobs, drama kings and queens, and druggies. Most of these people don’t even know the real me because they refuse to even get to know me. D’you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. You have no idea what I’m like, so all of your ideas and knowledge of Jake Ball, is from rumors and things people in the high school and others that nothing about me. And most of the people in Richlands love to cause drama and make people listen to there problems, now get me correctly, I have no problem listening to someone’s problem when they have a real one. But, I want you to spread the word. I’ve – had – enough. The next whiny person that comes to me looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I’m going to hurt them. So just take your nonsense blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to cry over a boyfriend you had for a week, someone talking about you, people not liking you, or people not wanting to be around you, then you’ve just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he’s drunk at the wheel.

Because most of these people live their life according to everyone else’s standards. ‘I have got to have a good job, family, many friends, and not have any problems, because that is what is excepted of me.’ And the fucking insane part is he ain’t even crazy about the any of it, never mind the fact that they got a perfectly fine life right now and even Anne-fucking-Frank can see that they love it, God knows why. And most of the time they have the perfect person right there beside them, but they can’t like them or even bee seen tlakign to them because if they do, they go down into a lower social class. And they actually like you for who you are and not for the social standings or looks or anything, they ain’t trying to stuff you into a box you’ll never fit into. Jesus if you had any sense whatsoever, you’d fucking stop trying to bray it up with the rest of the sheep, and live your life the way it makes sense to you.

I wanted you to think about yourself, and I mean really think. What are you good at? What do you suck at? And then I want you to put it down on paper. And not so I could see it, and not so anybody else could see it, but so you could see it. Because ultimately, you don’t have to answer to me, and you don’t have to answer to anyone in your life. You don’t even have to answer to your family or friends, for God’s sake! You only have to answer to one person and that’s you! People like this, honest-to-God, make me so angry, I’m afraid I just might hurt myself. Okay, think of what little patience I have with people like this as, oh, I don’t know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Freshmen Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your guy buddy, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of The Notebook and a four-pack of Bartels & James and badaow, it was gone forever – just like my patience is now.

And, well about love I have this to say. Relationships are so fragile. It just takes one thing, one… tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you’d better tuck and go, my friend. Relationships don’t work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever, gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate-covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do… believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something. You know, there’s a million fine-looking women in the world, but they don’t all bring you lasagna at work, and that in my mind is love. Most of them just cheat on you.

I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves. That’s why if you actually find someone you care about, it’s important to let go of the little things, even if you can’t let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around. Sometimes fate is on your side. Other times well, you’ve kind of sealed your own fate. Either way you have to trust that whatever’s supposed to happen will happen. Besides, somehow you always seem to end up with the person you’re meant to be with.

I have tried to take my own life for some of the stupid reasons I have addressed above, but I want you to know this. Most people want to take the easy way out, because their scared with life, love, and everything else in their life. Their scared because if they fail, they only have themselves to blame. Let me tell ya this, life is scary, get used to it. There are no magical fixes in life. It is all up to you to get out and be someone and live your life they way you want to live it. So, get off your ass and off MySpace, and get out there and do the work. Nothing in this world worth having, comes without hard work.